Feeling Old

Not that I'm bent over, rheumatic, arthritic and waiting to give out my last, rattling breath.

Sans a little asthma and being out of breath after 2 flights of stairs, I'm at the peak of health, thank you very much.

It's just that today, with Principles of Marketing being only 30 minutes long, about 15 of us just got together and talked about... well, about the last 19 to 20 years of our lives.

It was a trip down memory lane that had me laughing for 2 hours. And it all began because of my piece of Shaider info.

Next thing you know, we were talking about Bio Man. Sam and I came up with this theory that the Bio Man you were as a kid says something about who you are now. And it seems to work!

When I played Bio Man eons ago, I was always Blue 3. True enough, I am the idealistic dreamer. My sister was always Yellow 4- she is... well, she will never be Pink 5.

The next thing you know, we've zoomed through our growing up years...

... of crazy trends such as those air fresheners that supposedly give birth. I remember asking them from my busmates when I was nursery. Trends such as trolls, grassheads, bags with a clock at the back, Pop Swatch, Magic Bombs, Chickadee junk food, snap bands... the list is endless.

Oh! And did I mention sunflowers? Or those pencil boxes with all sorts of great features like popping up erasers! And strollers we had to carry our bags. Hahaha!

There were also crazy clothes trends like the early 90's, where most of us got our first pair of branded jeans. Jeans which would have to be worn with the brand showing. Especially if the jeans had the Armani Eagle, the Levi's red tab, the Guess? triangle and the Girbaud tag on the crotch area.

And who can forget Giordano classics? And 10 hole Doc Martens? And baseball caps which should have 8 stiches on the bill to certify that they were real.

And TV shows! Does anybody remember Friday night on Channel 2? Back then, Friday nights always had the best shows. Ghostbusters, Murphy Brown, What a Dummy, Doogie Howser, Baywatch (back when Hobie was young), Beverly Hills 90210, Twilight Zone, Guiness Book of Records, She's Got the Look, Twin Peaks, Night Rider... I could go on and on.

Or even Saturday morning cartoons! Denver the Last Dinosaur, Gem, Beverly Hills Teens... or Saturday afternoon shows like the original TGIS and Gimik! Or movies like An American Tail or Land Before Time.

Or those afternoon shows. Anna Luna, Criselda, Isabel (Sugo ng Birhen), Valiente, Agila, Ula, That's Entertainment, Ang TV, Maricel Drama Special, Coney Reyes on Camera, Tonight with Dick and Carmi, Takeshi's Castle, The Wonder Years, Boy Meets World, Parker Lewis, Saved by the Bell..

Songs! The songs which would be the soundtrack of our lives! From "Dying Inside" to "Heaven Knows" to "Line to Heaven" to "Supersonic", "Pagkatumibok ang Puso", Smokey Mountain, Milli Vanilli, Color Me Badd, Shanice, Andrew E, dance music of the 90's (The Bomb, The Funk Phenomenon), Francis M and "Mga Kababayan Ko", "Angelina", "Stars", Vanilla Ice, 4 Non Blondes, "voices That Care"....

Does anybody remember "Sweet Soul Revue" by Pizzicato Five? Or "Always" by Erasure, with matching Butterfly dance?

I also attended my cousin's graduation dinner at Dulcinea in ATC. This also got me reminiscing, thinking that my High School graduation was 3 years ago and another one might be looming up in the not so far-off future.

I then got to remember my world in High School. How young and naive I was then, although I felt on top of the world. It's only in college where you realize how limited your world was.

And how quickly time goes by. It seems that in the blink of an eye, from a young and fat Grade School kid, I'm now this 21-year old who is bound to graduate in 1 or 2 years.

There have been so many events in my life, but you don't really see your life go by until you take stock of all the trends that have gone by and you get to realize that indeed a lot has gone by.

My cousin! I will always see him as a little kid. It takes awhile to get used to the fact that he is already 17, he smokes along with the rest of the cousins, he's got fashion sense and he knows how to drive.

Hell, he's entering college in the next school year.

My family also stopped at the house of my aunt where there are a lot of albums in the living room. I see several of my pictures and get to thinking that many of those pictures feel like yesterday even if they were taken 10 years ago. I was a kid and my parents looked so young!

Today, I practically watched my life pass by through reminiscing.

I get to realize that indeed I am no longer a kid. The carefree luxury of youth now belongs to a new generation, and I do have to move on to a higher calling, or a higher goal.

I got to feel every second of my 21-years today. And yet... I don't remember growing old.

Why is it that time goes by within the blink of an eye, and we never get to see it pass before us. We only realize its demise in retrospect- and at that point, we're wishing it all back again.

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Slowing Down

Exam week is just a week away. I am in danger of failing Theology. Marketing Plans are to be presented on the first week of April.

And what does this errant student (and nerd at heart) do? He slows down.

I'm still trying to come to grips with having so much free time on my hands. All that's left to do in the office now is clean up. Thus, after class ended at 12, I decided to hang around.

Our group met for our Marketing Plan and decided that the whole product line we were to work on was unfeasible. I mean, how far can you go with a product whose main client base is Multi-Level Marketing (read: networking/pyramiding).

There is not much room to move and there is so little to work around. Thus, we decided to halt work until consultation with our teacher tomorrow. The scary thing is that we are due to present this in a week's time and we still don't have much.

Some are panicking already, but for some reason, I'm still complacent. But hey, at least I'm no longer delinquent.

Another way that I passed time was to indulge in food.

For lunch, Li and I went to Kamirori. For the past 3 weeks, Li has hardly been able to get ahold of me due to work. It was a good time to catch up with each other.

Thing is, we both totally forgot that today is a Lent Friday. We just realized it coming out of the restaurant, with my Bagoon Rice and her Teriyaki safely digested.

Now, I have adopted a very casual attitude toward Lenten fasting, as I have been forgetting it for the past few weeks now. I view fasting as something like Simbang Gabi in the sense that you're lucky if you get to do it, but you really don't lose anything if you don't.<

Err... no wonder my Theology is in danger.

After extracting LJ from class, I also got her to come with me for some Tuyo Puttanesca at Coffee Cal. After 30 minutes, I was back across the street consuming Spicy Squid and an Iced Tea. Then I had ice cream from FIC. Then I headed home for dinner

I am slowly gaining back all the weight I lost after my irregular eating habits these past weeks.

I was also able to watch TV. I was lucky enough to catch "World's Wildest Police Chases". I'm a real sucker for shows like these.

God, it's been so long since I was able to watch TV. Right after blogging, I plan to return to the boob tube and catch whatever show I can. It's a long-forgotten luxury.

But with exams looming only a week away, I believe that this is only the beginning of it all.

This is the calm before the storm.

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Another Farewell to Childhood

Aw man! I just visited Lite's blog. There, I learned that Hiroshi Tsuburaya, or the guy who played Shaider has been dead since 2001.

I don't know why I'm so affected. I think it's because Shaider was one of my favorite TV shows as a kid. And to this day, the memory of Shaider with his Suzuki Samurai and Annie and her Mazda RX-7 are still very vivid.

More than a TV show, they were an era in my life.

They were a great childhood fantasy. And now it hits that Shaider is indeed human, and that he is not invincible. He is mortal.

At this very jaded point in my life, I've been wishing to go back to that place in time where the world was still innocent in a sense. Things were much simpler, and there were "happily ever afters".

And super heroes were real. And they could fight even the baddest of them all. Shaider could even cheat death at the closest calls. But at 21 I know better.

Shaider is a long-gone memory. A figment of the imagination. On screen, he was the greatest. And maybe I'm sad because, if anything, I mourn for a childhood hero. I mourn for a childhood fantasy that is jolted by reality: that Shaider can be defeated after all.

Curtain Call

The show's over. It's time for Commissioner Nice-Ass (the girls at COMELEC have this thing with my butt, thus the nickname) to hang up his hat and re-orient himself with the real world. It's time to take a bow. All's well that ends well.

Everything has been finalized, I am really tired and we officially released the results this afternoon. I believe I can finally pat myself on the back for a job well done.

It's funny. This morning, I got to the office, sat down and just felt sad that the whole thing was over. I parked myself in one corner, taking in the mess of the office and all signs of a job recently concluded.

The ballot boxes were all heaped up in one corner, the voters lists were on the chairs, my baby (the white board) had the staple "Things to Do" on it but by this morning, I knew that that board would no longer be filled with my reminders on what would be needed for the day. That's because there are no more things to do. The COMELEC stint is over... 'till next year anyway.

And strangely, I am feeling empty. It's this feeling of having so much time on your hands all of a sudden and not knowing what to do with it. I usually get this feeling after a big project that would consume so much of my time like a play. At the end of it all, the free time takes some getting used to.

I could actually leave school at 5 this afternoon without feeling any guilt whatsoever. I stayed up to 8 for the spite of it. Old habits die hard.

I mean, after 4 weeks of rising action, I am now at the denouement. After all that stress, I should be happy that I am freer now.

I can finally go back to the gym. And I can finally focus more on school work. I have been very delinquent in my group work.

And with this thing over, I am once again going to fade into anonimity (as much as I can muster anyway). After holding court over the school for 4 weeks, I am now going to be just another student.

Yep. In fact, I even had time to hang out across school with El tonight. This is something I haven't been able to do for awhile.

I will bet that many of the people who were so nice to us during the whole election period will start ignoring us as if we never met or interacted. I don't blame them- COMELEC brings out the nice-ness in many. But now that there's no longer any reason to be nice, well, why carry on?

But I am glad to have met many nice people because of this. It was a great experience. A thankless job (free food will not compensate the hell we've been through) but a great experience all the same.

There were a million highs and a million low points that were not included in the job description, but they did add color to an otherwise colorless job.

For now, there will be no more running to Intermatrix for A3 photocopies, no more meetings after class, no more dealing with ASG... there are a lot of "no mores". And I can once again hang out with anyone and everyone without fear or suspicion. I can wear all my shirts that have politically explosive colors.

For all it's worth, COMELEC was one helluva joy ride. And now, it's time for COMELEC's most harassed (physically, emotionally, sexually- I'm not kidding on the last one) to move on.

In some perverse way, I am going to miss it.

* * *

I have got to stop thinking COMELEC.

Last night, I was in the Men's Room when I saw a poster taped to the painted wall and not on the tiles. In the COMELEC Rules and Regulations, this is not allowed. All materials have to be taped to the tiles.

My immediate thought was "VIOLATION!" until I realized that the poster was not campaign material.

I have got to get out of this mindset.

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Climax

Ag. I just got home from an exaggeratedly long day in school.

Today was the climax of everything we've been working for over the past 4 weeks. All that work, and now, it's over just like that.

After tomorrow, I will have to re-orient myself to the 'normalcy' of my life 4 weeks ago. It's time to work on the mess that I left in the backseat.

And no doubt, I will be missing the thrill that this elections gave me. Today was no different- even more exciting, I should say.

This was because we extended the elections until 12 to make quota. And we did- more, in fact. The elections were more than valid. But to extract that crucial 18, I had to resort once again to my begging and ambush tactics. I swear, this elections are so degrading on my part.

But it was worth it since by 12 noon, we had 1,105 ballots in. And we could finally count.

After a lunch provided by COMELEC (KFC!), counting began at 2:30 P.M. and lasted all the way 'till 8:00. Although interesting, this is one of the most tedious jobs involved in COMELEC.

For all this time, I was stationed at the white board, doing the counting for the Juniors. And believe me, I am so sick of repeating candidates' names. 5 hours of doing that isn't exactly one of the most cushy jobs in the world, and inevitably I was not thinking straight by the time the elections were through.

I am just thankful to the inventor of Coca-Cola. All throughout the counting, what kept me sane was Coke. I consumed 5 cans of Coke and 2 bottles of mineral water. And a handful of Tortillas.

By 8:00 we knew the results. The 3 batches had been tabulated and the 3 remaining commissioners were all worse for wear. Especially after counting the sophomore ballots 3 times and trying to figure the exact amount of junior ballots.

As for the results, I am somewhat dissappointed with them. Being in COMELEC allows me to deal with candidates on a more personal level and with that, I sort of know who I wanted to vote for. And I felt sorry for those who didn't make it- especially those who I could see really put their heart into their work.

But that's politics. You win some, you lose some. The new president is indeed a dark horse.

After the whole thing was done, we packed up and rewarded ourselves with a dinner at Art Ave. I treated myself to a well-deserved beer. Dinner was somewhat a synthesis, reminiscing the past 4 weeks, talking about today and even the future of COMELEC.

I'm going to miss working with these people.

But there's still work awaiting, especially if some party decides to complain. It's too early to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.

It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings. Tomorrow is STILL another day.

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So Young

All that happened today, the 2nd day of elections, reminds me of Kenneth's stress song, "So Young" by the Corrs.

The line is "And it really doesn't matter if we don't eat, and it really doesn't matter don't sleep, it really doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter at all. 'Cause we are so young now, and when tomorrow comes, we just do it all again..."

Heaven forbid. At this point, I'm feeling 21 going on 50 at the rate this elections have been going.

I'm just feeling a demoralized since we failed to reach quorum by 18 people. ONLY 18 people. Because of this, the work is not ended and we are extending elections until tomorrow.

For the past 2 weeks, I have been eating irregularly and waking up in the wee hours of the morning to work. And it's still not over, when the counting was supposed to be today.

"The students are apathetic because the candidates are pathetic". I heard that line today. I don't know if the Miting de Avance did the elections harm or good.

But I'm frustrated that it was just so hard to extract 18 people from a very populated school. I am sick of hearing the line "Wala naman ako kilala diyan, e". Others were proud to be apathetic.

We've resorted to all sorts of tactics like going room-to-room and even harassing and ambushing students when they got out of their classes.

And at the rate I've been ambushing my batch mates, I have a feeling I'm going to gain a lot of enemies when this whole hullaballoo is over.

In overseeing the whole operation, I even forgot to make tally sheets. Perhaps that was one good thing that came out of the failure to reach quorum.

Another good thing would be that we don't have to count ballots in the lab (where the freshmen are dissecting frogs) as the time will allow more rooms available to us.

But what do you know? I finally get to meet the Bus Rider. Small world indeed.

Also, all the politicking dissipated today as parties, the COMELEC and SEB rallied together to try and reach quorum by tonight. At least. And it was a good thing.

But I'm just thankful that in 2 days, my life will be back to normal. I hope.

R-18

I pulled a major booboo yesterday, manning my post at the exit booth of the polling place at Prom B.

One crucial COMELEC protocol is to ask the voter whether he or she has any erasures or corrections before dropping the ballot into the ballot box. Thus, my usual line is "Do you have any erasures? Corrections?".

I spent the whole day baking in the polling place, sans attending 2 out of 4 classes. Result was that I was extremely stressed as voters came in droves and the COMELEC volunteers weren't behaved.

At one point of high activity in the afternoon, I asked a female voter "Do you have any erections?"

The girl went "What?!". And I, realizing my mistake, am mortified. How positively embarassing. That (let me emphasize) was a product of stress and NOT a Freudian slip.

If a failure of elections were to happen, I am hoping it is not because lower batches are thinking that there is a manyak commissioner manning the polling place.

* * *

Today is the last day of elections and it is getting scary. We need 1,100 voters to reach quorum. That's 70% of the school population, and this is dictated by the school constitution.

As of 7:45 last night, we've had 518 voters. That means today, we have to gather more than the amount of voters yesterday. And the prospect is not amusing.

Last year, elections ended really late because we were checking the student lists and calling people up and asking them to come back to school and vote. We will always remember the very last guy who came and voted. I am hoping the same thing won't happen this year.

And at the way of thinking of some students, things are getting a bit disappointing.

Being at the booth yesterday, I was calling out to people passing to vote. I cannot count how many "No thanks" and "Wala akong kilala, e" responses I got. This is why I've found myself saying "Vote abstain of you don't know anyone!" more than I wish to remember.

But there are some perks as well. Like lunch delivered from McDonalds, and me almost fainting after a girl brought pages of campaign paraphernalia into the polling place. It was moratorium, but she wanted to see the faces of those she was voting for. The girl even left the campaign paraphernalia in the polling place, if other voters would need 'reference'. Haaay.

And my "White Armband" campaign has been taking off, with teachers being more than ready to wear them (especially when they get wind of the REAL reason). One of my friends even wore the ribbon as a belt, and she wanted a sash even. I am glad that the "White Armband" also gets people curious about the elections.

But now, my banners are hanging in strategic places, proclaiming "Elections Today". I've got signage all over the school. If things don't pick up by today, I've got more stops to pull. Things have just got to be better- with the volunteers (they were unruly yesterday) and the voter turnout. One good thing that came out was a meeting with the 3 presidential candidates last night. They aired their grievances (yes, the juice!). Things were smoothened out.

Today is going to be very serendipitous. I have no idea what the outcome will be. All I know is that it's going to be very... exciting. Counting will also be tonight so it's bound to be a long day.

I'm praying that things will turn out well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Real tight.

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Ironies

A portrait of 2 very worn out commissioners, post Miting de Avance

Life paints you a portrait of tragic ironies which leaves you wondering where's the fairness in it all.

Irony one is an old, bent woman begging from the mass goers at an elite Church, which is surrounded by many of the wealthiest subdvisions in Metro Manila. The mass goers are in their Sunday best, openly professing their faith and yet turning cold shoulder to this woman in need.

I find it so ironic that the Catholic religion teaches charity, and about opening one's arms to the poor, and yet when this woman in need comes up to ask for a few measly pesos, she is promptly turned away.

My view on beggars may be a bit out of whack since most people view them as lazy, or as useless elements of society who need to work for their keep. Or as my dad's philosophy goes, "If you keep on giving to them, they will see that there is profit in what they do. But you don't really help them since they will be dependent on that".

He's got a point. But my reasoning is that begging is something really demeaning and demoralizing and people won't engage in it unless they are grasping at straws. The woman was old and crooked- what else is she expected to do?

I mean, she is in the twilight of her years. At this point, she is supposed to be enjoying the fruits of a life well lived. But apparently, there are no fruits to enjoy and she has to swallow her pride and beg from people much younger than she is. She has to endure the looks of contempt and the indignity of being shunned and driven away.

She could be the same age as my 84-year old grandmother who is in the province, living up the twilight of her life. She is well cared for. I'm sure that beggar woman has never enjoyed much luxury in her whole lifetime. And now that she's old, she still can't rest.

And begging is indeed demeaning. I should know- I once spent a whole day at the door of Uni Mart in Greenhills, approaching shoppers and asking for donations for the victims of this typhoon back in 3rd year High School. It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life.

I remember that it was the project of the Youth Christian Life Community. We positioned ourselves at the different entry points of Uni Mart and we approached shoppers identifying ourselves as students from Xavier and asking if the shoppers would like to donate cash or goods to the victims of the typhoon.

It was a very legitimate operation. We had signs and cans all that sort. But many times, we were treated like dirt. People would look away when we talked to them, others would literally push us aside, and one couple who was holding hands when I approached disengaged themselves and walked around me. They reunited when they passed me.

It was very humiliating and degrading. But it was really touching when some people showed compassion and donated whatever they could spare to us. A family went out of its way to donate 2 plastic bags of groceries. Little acts like that meant something.

When I think about it, it hurt my pride when I was shunned by people. And I wasn't doing that for my survival. The old woman was doing it because she needed to. How much more painful was that?

I feel compassion for all these people. The children, the blind and all those who were dealt a lousy hand by fate who come knocking at my car window or up to me at Church.

I know it is not my duty or obligation to sustain the economy of these people, but as a human, how do you help?

Second irony is school politics, which has been eating up my whole weekend. At this point, 80% of my life is dominated by this thing. A few more days and it'll be over. I hope.

The irony is that parties profess to, as one party so aptly put it, "Take the politicking out of politics" yet engage in mudslinging and other very trapo practices.

The Miting de Avance last Friday was downright bloody, with emotions running high. I swear, people are taking politics so seriously. And personally.

Friday, I was up since 2 in the morning cramming a paper and a presentation. Both were very successful (especially my PPEI with Dr. K.) so I go to the Miting de Avance hyperactive, charged and all. My violet polo and necktie inevitably raised a few eyebrows (with it being the color of a party. Nobody believed my proclamation that I was declaring nothing but fashion with my purple tie...). I run to the car to change and commit a very embarassing error.

I am also charged because the Miting de Avance was very festive and very well attended. And people were really involved!

Anyways, during the Miting de Avance, it came to light that 2 parties collaborated to wear black. Black armbands, black clothes. According to them, this was in protest over the "Dirty Elections" in school. This was in direct reference to a "Red Juice Campaign" that one party launched. They said it was bribery.

It was that shallow. All throughout the Miting de Avance, more than any issue at school, it was the juice issue that kept on cropping up. More than targetting whatever problems the school may have, it was the juice issue over and over again. And that was really politics in action.

By night, I heard rumors flying around. People were saying that the COMELEC was partisan. That we were taking sides with one party. More than anything, this was what infuriated me. How dare these people.

Other parties have been blaming us for the juice campaign. It's not our fault that one party was more creative than the others. Telling me that I'm partial to one party is a direct attack at my character and that was offensive especially since I took pains to distance myself.

It's as if the COMELEC can't do anything right. We are strict and people protest. We are lenient and people protest. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't. We are the eternal scapegoat and the perpetual bad guy. It's a thankless job.

One party rep said that COMELEC was partial because we agreed to everything one party wanted. Excuse me. The COMELEC has never denied anything that was asked of us by any party.

I was thinking about all this while I was giving up even my Saturday to ready things for the elections on Monday. Some days, even if you love your work so much, it's no longer worth it.

Even if we're only students, politicking seems to be the main agenda and not the desire for service. There are not much perks in student government so why get so worked up? I believe that student politics entails a real desire to serve (since it is asking for more work than called for). Other than that, it is mere vanity.

And since COMELEC can't seem to do right, I have adopted a "do wrong" stance. To counter the black armband of the candidates, I have gone out and bought myself 50 yards of white ribbon. I am gunning for a "White Armband Campaign".

My white ribbon campaign is under the guise of campaigning for clean elections. In truth, I am protesting the shallowness of the parties and the candidates. If parties and candidates are capable of the silly complaints I have seen, then the school is doomed. I refuse to believe that the students of UA&P are that shallow. Unfortunately, the candidates are proving me otherwise.

In any case, after that dirty Miting de Avance, I have lost a lot of faith in this election.

* * *

I went with my parents to watch Maid in Manhattan last night.

It was very fluffy and had a lot of the ingredients for a Julia Roberts movie. A love that can't seem to get on, a fairytale romance, dreaming, hoping, wishing, and quotable lines.

It was... cute, I guess.

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