Crunch Time

I often wonder how I get myself into all sorts of stress. The stress where I find myself with dishevelled hair, running all over without a moment to catch my breath.

I know the answer all along. I just don't want to admit it: I ask for it.

So right now, it's crunch time for a lot of things. And here I am, still with a slight cold, a bad cough and horror of horrors, no voice.

Honestly, having no voice is one of the worst tragedies that can befall me. Me, a person who absolutely cannot shut up is now involuntarily shut up so to speak (pardon the pun). Yep, I am left speechless.

Now, of all times, when I need to talk to a million people! There are just too many things to take care of.

For one, it is the COMELEC rush. COMELEC is something I inherited from my sister and something I have a real passion for.

For some strange reason, I really find my heart in the nitty gritty of elections. Overseeing the campaigns, the candidates, the dirt... there's so much to do and I love it. I love the late hours, the moments of panic, the whole spirit of the thing.

Perhaps the COMELEC is in some way, my own outlet for vanquishing the apathy I see so evident in so many students of the school. It is one of the only ways I see that they may participate (to the littlest extent) and get somewhat involved.

And right now, we are running waaaay behind schedule.

Another thing I am involving myself in is something I'm doing on a bout of insanity.

I am applying to be an exchange student in Singapore. My friend Kenneth did this last year and he had tons of fun.

More than the fun, I am serious about this thing for the learning. I want to understand and experience cultures first-hand. I believe that this is an instance where a book doesn't teach you everything.

Another reason I'm applying is because I see the need to grow up. All my life, I have taken for granted the life I live at home. Everything I need has always been handed to me and it dawned on me that I'm still a kid in many ways.

Thus, if ever I am accepted, the exchange student program is something I have to do for myself. It is stepping out of my comfort zone and proving to myself and to everyone that I can get by on my own. It is a chance for me to learn a lot by myself as well as to learn about myself.

It is like driving, actually. You know how to operate the car and drive pretty fine when somebody is with you. But the real test comes when you're driving alone.

Aside from all those reasons, the Communications program in Nanyang University is pretty good. The Broadcast Communications course is a bullseye to the career path I opt to take after college.

Then there is the Marketing Committee for UNESCO which I unwittingly involved myself in. This thing is good exposure and beautiful on the resume.

There is also the ROC playfest. Every year, I pray that all I have to contribute for the playfest is my acting. Every year, I end up writing the script, acting and directing. This year is no different and I am trying to garner enough political will to get started. Not that I mind.

All these on top of papers, reports, homework. All these on top of trying to make it out of 3rd year alive.

Like I said ealier, I always ask for these responsibilities for some reason.

I believe that my real motivation behind taking on all these gargantuan tasks is that I want to prove to myself that I can hack it. That I am not the slacker I profess to be. That I can be professional.

I want to show myself and the world that I can handle things like these without screwing up.

I want to see for myself that I can pull through and that I am not the follower I think I am.

I want to know that I can do it.

But as for now, it's defitnitely crunch time!

---

Panget Day # 2

Yech. Today was yet another panget day since I was sick. I feel like some Typhoid Mary.

I think my constant state of activity has left me very susceptible to whatever en vogue virus there is going around.

I must've caught this fever and cold (value meal) thing from my Comm classmate and suki seatmate who has been absent over Valentine's and is still recovering as of today.

My head feels like it's going to explode, my nose is stuffed and my throat is really dry. The weather is warm but I'm wrapped up in a sweater.

One of the pluses of getting sick is actually the food. You get served a lot of your favorite stuff- for instance, I got a whole helping of Knorr Crab Soup all to myself for dinner.

It's just a shame that I'm not well enough to enjoy it.

Of all days I had to fall sick. I have a paper due tomorrow and I am hoping that I won't have to go to school. The sad thing is that I have maxed out my cuts in that class already. So sick or not, I have got to go.

And of all days that I had to be feeling lousy, I spend a good part of the day with SOMEONE. Just the 2 of us. Today, she decides to unleash the heavy artillery of charm on me.

It was lunch and a lot of going around together. Unfortunately, I wasn't at my wittiest and most brilliant. I don't think I impressed her in the least. But I was in Heaven all the same.

And now, I have come crashing back to Earth with my head stuffed and my nose clogged to kingdom come.

I am trying to churn out another of my Lit paper "masterpieces" without much success.

Ha-Choo!

---

Crash and Burn

Fatigue and exhaustion have made today a panget day.

Panget days are the days when it doesn't matter what you wear. You just grab the first shirt in your closet- preferably panget and grubby as well. You dress without a care as to who will see you.

Panget days often come with bad hair days as well. But you really don't care because, well, because it's a panget day and no matter what you do, you know you're not gonna break any hearts today.

These days often come with bouts of lethargy and the tendency to be on "screen-saver" mode the rest of the time you are required to think and be up on your feet.

Because I was so tired, I couldn't wake up on time today. Our helper woke me up at 6:30 for my class at 9. I ask for 5 minutes and the next thing I know, it's 7:30. Then and there, I knew I wouldn't make it.

This is the whole minus of living in Antipolo when your school is in Ortigas- your life has to start an hour earlier than everyone else. But mine doesn't. I live my life on Real Time. Probably explains why I'm always late...

While dawdling, I turn on TV and lo and behold, I catch "Got 2 Believe" on Cinema One. And for some reason, I see fit to watch it. It is a panget day after all and I'm in no hurry. I'm probably going to miss the class at 10:30 anyway...

Here's the thing: I could't believe I found myself grinning at the sequence of scenes where Lawrence (Rico) realizes that he's falling for Toni (Claudine), while the song "I'm falling in love, finally my heart gave in..." was playing. OhmiGod. I'm getting sappy!

Out of 4 classes, I only make it to 2. Luck was on my side though because I found out that 2nd period was a free-cut so my dawdling was worth it.

But since I was on "screen-saver" mode, I was no match for our teacher who makes a graded recitation feel like practice for Debate Society training back in High School.

Getting out of class, I'm more light-headed than ever. I see the Casio caluclator of a friend and go "Ooh look! It's a Nokia 6100!". Someone tells me, "Bundi, I think you really need to go home and rest". I get her point.

Even the charms of SOMEONE fail to affect me today. When this happens, there has to be something seriously wrong with me.

Thank God this day is over. I think I appeared like such a dimwit today.

Days like these are so not good for me.

* * *

Seen on Saksi (Channel 7): Alma Moreno is serious about going into politics.

Yes, Alma Moreno of the Big-Mac-for-take-out-no-this-is-for-Vandolph fame. Of the floor-to-floor carpeting notoriety. Alma Moreno of the scandalous sugod-at-the-hospital drama (which gives another moron another excuse not to shut up...)

I can only wish all the best for the people of Parañaque.

Also seen: Ruffa Gutierrez in a very minor car mishap. The car (her brand new Benz) was hit from behind. Car is shown on TV and the slight damage has to have a mahor close up camera shot for it to be visible.

Ruffa is complaining because of the "force" of the impact, her back and neck are aching. Hell, I've been in cars that were hit far worse but never did I have an aching back or neck. Lest she be a hypochondriac???

She also says that she's afraid to tell her fiancee because she doesn't want him to worry. Oh no, she'll just talk about her adventure on national TV.

And we wonder why people's IQs are diminishing? Just tune in to the antics of the people the masa look up to: Pinoy Showbiz- land of the brain dead. Why do we humor these people?

I saw all this in 2 minutes of viewing. This has to be the height of insipidity yet.

---

Remember to Keep Holy the Sabbath...

My favorite commandment. It orders no manual work to be done on this day. A favorite Sunday for me is a Sunday spent sleeping off all the hours lost the whole week. But did I do that today? Nooooo...

I have been badly needing rest after a very busy weekend. After the Boyz II Men concert and getting home at 2 a.m. Saturday morning, the rest of Saturday was equally harrassing. Not helping was the fact that there was class.

Undoubtely, I was sleepy (nothing new, really) once again for Principles of Marketing, owing to the fact that I only had a few hours of sleep.

Note to self: Never, EVER again, under any controllable circumstance get a 6-day-a-week class schedule even if it means 4 halfdays. Somewhere in the week, I need a break. Sundays are not dependable for resting since my clan has a bi-monthly lunch out trying good restaurants all over the place.

I rush home after Principles class to catch whatever shuteye I could since I was expecting a long evening ahead. There was the Daredevil premiere, the High School friends and Miel's birthday party.

Do you know the feeling of wanting to be 2 places at one time? Or that there are not enough hours in a day? That's how I felt Saturday night. There wasn't enough of me to go around. Or there wasn't enough time to go around.

I run into a little trouble getting to the premiere and arrive at Galleria photo finish.

On Daredevil, I found the movie fine. A bit laughable and absurd at some points but entertaining all the same. The film is a bit dark but then again, I guess that's supposed to add up to the theme.

I'm surprised. Daredevil isn't your usual super hero. He doesn't have the charisma of your run-off-the-mill, glam super hero and he is actually a vigilante, if anything. He sees injustice and he will not try to bring about justice- he will impose his own brand of justice on the perpetrator of the crime.

The soundtrack is way good. Jennifer Garner is cute in some angles but is way masculine. And emasculating for that matter.

Since I was desperate to sell tickets, I sold to the High School boys, who willingly came. So after the movie, we went to eat at Burgoo's in Podium.

And yesterday once more it was. Eating, kidding around, confirming and dispelling rumors (especially about ICAns) and basically just living it up.

The High School boys were together with Matthew when he ushered in his 21st year. There is really something very nice, warm and homey about being with the guys you spent 4 years of adventure with. No matter how the wind has blown you in different directions, getting together seems as if you never separated.

Even if graduation was 3 years ago and Kenneth is already complaining about his meager salary, and some of us from DLSU are gearing for practicum, we're basically the same old kids and the same old gang as ever before.

Sadly, I couldn't have everything. I couldn't make it to Miel's. I'm feeling pretty bad about this since I've been very busy lately and I haven't had much opportunity to kick back with my college friends. I am sorely lacking in this aspect.

But I still get home pretty late and am still not able to make up for badly needed sleep.

And my Sabbath! I spend the day in the South because of my aunt's birthday. Normal Las Pinas gathering if you ask me.

I am driven to panic mode by 2 people who dart across C-5, am in panic mode because my wicked niece threatens to drop my phone and also whacks me on the head with it.

I have also spent the day engrossed with Bounce on my cousin't 9210i. I am in love with the 9210i if anything, for that Bounce thingy! The rest of it is waaay too complicated.

And here I am blogging after an eventful weekend. My school stuff lies unread. I am dying to sleep but I can't since Monday awaits and duty calls.

As Robert Frost put it, "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep..."

---