The Gym: Revisited

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" -- some Chinese proverb

Yep, I've finally gone and done it. I've finally mustered enough political will to go back to the gym after 7 months.

I've been wanting to go back to the gym for some time now. I think I finally garnered enough resolve when I realized how flabby I was getting.

Actually, I have a really skinny frame. Unfortunately, for some time now, I've been noticing that I've been getting "soft" in some areas. Oh, and a 10-pound weight increase.

I guess I can attribute it to 3 factors: 1. My vegetative lifestyle of tv-eat-sleep 2. My ability to eat like there's no tomorrw and 3. Countless bottles of consumed alcohol have finally taken their toll on me.

Honestly, I've been wanting to go back to the gym since November last year (hence, the title of today's post has been in the works since last year. It was only actualized today).

However, I've had a lot of reservations before deciding on a reappearance. I don't really know how to describe the feeling- it's something bordering on shyness since I haven't been back since June and that I may have forgotten what to do.

Of course, all these fears were unfounded and overrated- but this I didn't find out until today. I guess you could also throw in the lazy factor.

Seeing that I only had one class ending at 9 today (and being let off at 8:30), I decided to quit stalling and make a go for it. I guess I also needed the distraction from the stress of a hellish midterm tomorrow.

And so I make my re-entrance into the gym (you can actually hear strains of "O Fortuna" here). And boy, was I shocked! Talk about changes!

The gym had renovated a month after I stopped going. It was so much bigger now. And all the gym instructors I knew were gone. The others didn't recognize me anymore.

Oh, and my old program was gone. The front desk lady (also new) said that since I haven't gone in months, I'd have to start from scratch anyway. Whoops.

So there I was on the treadmill, watching cars go by, and wondering why I stopped going in the first place. One thing I will always love about gymming is that it is here that I get some time alone to collect my thoughts.

When I started the program of chest presses, cable curls, lat pulldowns, rowing, leg extensions and what have you, I immediately remembered why I stopped going. Ouch!

And since I've been dormant for the past 7 months, my weight-lifting capabilities have decreased by as much as 20 pounds.

But I'm happy to actually have worked up a real sweat in months. It felt good! Now, let's hope that this isn't a case of ningas cogon this time.

And I am sure my body will so hate me in the morning. *Ouch!*

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Attack of the Nerd

Though I am a slacker and a crammer by reputation, there are those very rare instances when I am prone to fits of nerdiness. Tonight is one of them.

Digressing a bit, I have to say that I am innately a nerd. My barkada in High School was actually coined by the class as "The Smarties". We were the ones people looked for when they needed help in Math, Science, English and the like.

But unlike a big percentage of the group who excelled in all subjects (the type whose barongs almost got destroyed on Graduation Day from the weight of the medals) or were gifted technically, I was actually "The Failing Nerd".

I was the one who always took summer classes because of a failing average in Math. I was the one who almost got retained in 3rd year because I failed the summer class of Chemistry. I was the one who almost didn't march on Graduation.

All I had really was my writing. Essays, speeches, one-act plays- yeah, anything to do with English was my forte. In fact, one of my karbarkadas predicted that I would end up an English teacher. A prospect worth considering IF I delved into the technicalities of the English language.

Really, from the very beginning, English for me has always been by feel. I never bothered to know about Subject-Verb agreement, or modifiers, adverbs and what have you.

In fact, the 2 summers I spent teaching English to public school students kind of unnerved me because I had to explain to the students the mechanics of English in terms I wasn't well-versed with.

Shades of High School still linger in college. Math is still my weakest subject and English still remains a forte.

But the beauty of college is that there are more practical subjects where there is a more level playing field. Since I am now a Communications student, my academic life has become all about marketing, business presentations, communication theories and the like.

And this is where I call upon my powers of nerdiness. There is a midterm for Prinicples of Marketing on Saturday, given by a teacher who is reputed to make life somewhat miserable for students.

Thus, my goal for the next 2 days is to study! Study! Study!

Well, my goal is also to read the first 6 chapters of Kotler and Armstrong's Marketing: An Introduction.

Oh, and throw in article after article after article of readings given by our teacher mostly from Harvard Business Review.

And let's not forget that there is an assignment regarding a BMW case study, also due Saturday.

And lest we forget that I am reporting on a comparison of Western and Japanese culture for APS-Japan tomorrow.

Started nerdy-ing up by going home straight today after class. Going to do the same thing tomorrow since I've only got one class in the morning.

I'm really just praying that my nerd powers don't fail me now...

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Back and Forth

I never felt magic crazy as this/ I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea/ I never held emotion in the palm of my hand/ Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree/ But now you're here/ Brighten my northern sky." - Nick Drake, Northern Sky

Just when I was thinking of cutting my losses, regrouping and moving forward, my defenses all come tumbling down in an instant.

I have been considering for the past few days that my pursuit of SOMEONE was leading to nothing but a big, fruitless effort.

I mean, if she was out of my reach, then what was the point in actually hanging on? Was there any point in chasing fool's gold?

A lot of things I do have been met with frustration after frustration. But then there have been many successes as well. But to this day, I still remain clueless on where I stand in her life.

Unfortunately, my philosophy of not wanting to assume anything leaves me stuck in one place. I can't go forward, and though I've gone a long way, it would seem easier to turn back.

That way, nothing is lost and things will always be the way they were. Sure, I don't gain anything, but I'll get to keep the ideal of her intact.

Though I'm a great fanatic of the thought of love, my cheesy view of it was distorted right after my ex pulled the rug from under my feet.

Any attempt at love after the ex could only be described as contrived. Nothing after that seemed real.

This someone was the closest I've come to feeling that magic that I thought I'd be doomed to never feel again. And I'd rather that she remain an ideal in my mind rather than face the prospect of rejection.

Things seemed that way beginning this week anyway. She seemed so pre-occupied this week anyway and I hardly do get to see her. So moving on didn't seem like such a bad idea.

I wasn't thinking of her today when I stepped out of the Siberia-like atmosphere of the comedy act also known as Spanish class for a 30 minute break. I go down to the ledge and lo and behold...

There she is in all her sweetness and light, acting like every bit the person I grew to like. And then some.

And here I am, ever the conversationalist, at a loss for words.

And there goes my resolve out the window and I am all hers once again.

Lit Inferno

I'm supposed to love Dante's Divine Comedy. Not that I'm forced to because of Literature class, but because it's supposed to be interesting.

So why don't I even have enough political will to go to class?

The comedy (3 books- Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradiso) is supposed to be insightful, philosophical and interesting. It's supposed to present to you another aspect of the afterlife.

Unfortunately, our lit teacher killed off any interest I would have by the 3rd class. Suddenly, Dante appears to be this self-absorbed man who seems like nothing but a news reporter given an exclusive tour of the afterlife. With matching inverviews!

There are no discussion. There are no new insights given. There are no specific themes highlighted themes that the average student could have missed or would prove to be useful future duscussions.

Nada.

I don't get anything when I go to class. I don't miss anything if I don't go to class.

Either way, I feel short-changed.

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Hotshot

My first interview in 2 years. Place: Hotshots Hamburgers, Pearl Drive, Ortigas Time: 9:30 A.M. Who: No less than the owners of Hotshots. Why: A feature article for the school paper.

And yeah, I was a bundle of nerves. Sure they were graduates of UA&P, sure they were very friendly, and sure it was their P.R. firm who contacted me to do the interview.

So why the hell was I scared??? Maybe because... ohh, nothing much. Maybe it's just that I was afraid of looking like a complete idiot in front of them. Maybe I was afraid that I'd appear to be an insipid little moron doing a pathetic, unprofessional interview.

Well, the interview is done with. Talk about adrenaline rush at 9:30 A.M.! I even cut a class to do this interview.

Thing is, I really had no idea what to ask them. I prepared a list of questions but I have no idea up to now if those were the right questions to ask!

The owners were very, very friendly. They were accomodating and they answered my questions. They even offered me juice (which I couldn't refuse, even if I don't take in anything 'till 12- an idiosyncrasy of mine!).

I came there armed with a yellow pad, a tape recorder and a camera. In fact, that was how they recognized me. The interview came off in 40 minutes with me asking them about the business and their life as students in UA&P.

I am just so praying that some of my questions didn't come off as stupid. I am hoping I didn't come off as an airhead. I am hoping I made a good impression. That's all I want to know, then I can rest easy.

* * *

Frustrating is cutting one class to find that the teacher gave a quiz and released class standing.

Frustrating is learning you have a Logic test on the day itself and studying like mad straight after a stressful interview.

When the teacher enters, he tells us that since he has a new haircut and it seems that we are all prepared, then he is postponing the test 'till Thursday! 3 more days of suspense!

Frustrating is that out of 4 classes, you only get to attend 1 since the rest are free-cut!

Habanapz wanted to take in a movie. But since there was nothing showing (I still have to watch Dekada 70 and nobody wants to see it with me!), we ended up dawdling right across school 'till it was time to go home.

Frustrating is having a report for APS-Japan tomorrow at 7:30 and one page of my copy of the reading is blurred. Very blurred. And since life is frustrating, I blog!

Habanapz and I posing today: for the blog

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Sunday Drivin'

The accident was 2 months ago. The windshield was replaced a month ago. So why is it that the trauma still remains to this day?

I can't believe how much driving confidence was shattered after mowing down a 69 year old war veteran 2 months ago.

Before the accident, I was your typical road bully. I was one helluva psychopatic driver who had an intense hatred for jeepneys and buses (and the people who drove them).

I've finished 20 hours in A-1 Driving School and have been driving since 4th year High School, and really, I am happiest behind the wheel. I have always wanted to drive ever since I was a kid so when I did, I made sure I was good.

Nothing makes me happier than maximizing the engine of a car, putting it into speed and letting it barrel through the highways of Metro Manila. I overtake, I swerve, I cut and I blast my very loud horn (and give the finger) at arrogant jeepney drivers.

Not even a jeepney driver who almost gave me a head-on collision had I not driven off the road and into a ditch has succeeded in scaring me.

Yet all this confidence was taken away the moment that man flew onto the windshield and then rolled off the hood and onto the road. Now I drive paranoid and scared.

Swear, I tense up everytime there is a pedestrian in the path of the car. Sometimes, even while driving fast, I brake for a single pedestrian. I mean, there's no telling when he or she might dart across the path of the car without warning, right?

I was driving near Libis this morning and this person sprinted right into my path and I almost had a heart attack, having to hit the brakes all of a sudden. Same thing happened in the Greenbelt carpark last week.

Annoying is the thought that the man I hit was a jay-walker but I have to live with the consequences of his stupidity. I am awaiting Bayani Fernando's edict that if there is a jay-walker, motorists have every right to hit them!

The only time I can breathe easy is when the path is free of pedestrians. I can take on the jeeps, the buses, the trucks and the taxi drivers. Just don't give me the pedestrians and I'm fine!

Free Me from the Press!

My journalist skills have become extremely rusty.

For the school newspaper, I have to interview the owners of Hotshots hamburgers tomorrow. They are a couple and a UA&P success story.

Pretty simple, right? Wrong. I am a bundle of nerves now since it has been years since my last interview!

Also gone is the easy confidence that I used to have. Now, I am just afraid I am going to foul up! Aargh!

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