A Day of Repetitions and Yet Again!

Can anybody say "Mano Po, Take 3"??? This time, with my sister who was treated (like I was) to a blow-by-blow behind the scenes account of what went on during the shooting. Courtesy of me!

I'm also currently watching Kate and Leopold for the 2nd time around now. There are a few quotes in the movie that remain my favorite. All by Leopold.

"Otis always told me that love was one big leap. Lamentably, I was never inspired to jump"

"Marriage is a promise of eternal love. As a man of honor, I cannot promise eternally what I have never felt momentarily"

and...

"Ah Miss Blaine, you dance like a herd of cattle. You are a rare woman who lights up a room simply by leaving it!"

Rebonding

I slept away the whole morning and spent the evening with a long out-of-touch friend. I just got home now.

Patrick was the moderator of our outreach organization back in High School. Every Saturday, we would go to this vocational school in Pandacan to teach basics like English, Math and Science.

I was an active member as well as an officer of the org and we'd hold planning seminars and stuff together. Aside from this, we are both extremely opinionated as well as talkative people. This is why we get along so well.

Even after I graduated, we still managed to keep in touch and go out for the odd meal or 2 together.

For some reason, because the demands of college (he was a student while he involved himself in Xavier part-time) on both our parts, we lost touch and haven't spoken for more than a year.

I think it was only last November when we passed each other by in Greenhills and said a quick hello. A week later, he called the house and we yakked away like old times.

It was only this evening that we finally got the time and the opportunity to meet up with each other. He is now a Chinese teacher in ADMU and he was also involved in the production of Regal Films' entry to the Film Festival, Mano Po.

If you read the press releases on the movie, his name is mentioned quite frequently as one of the 2 Fookien coaches of the actors and actresses of the movie.

It was fun being with Patrick because he has always been one of my personal and very dependable "grapevines". He always has news (okay, tsismis) on a lot of things because he's involved in so many things.

It is through him that I get a lot of dirt on the ongoings of Xavier. And now, with his involvment in "Mano Po", I was able to get a lot of things out of him.

This was interesting for me because for one, I'm a wannabe film maker. So it was interesting to see how the whole production was done- the subtle themes of the movie and the characters, how certain scenes were shot to project an emotion, how things were made to appear in a different way and things like that.

These things fed my marvel of the power of the movie camera and editing. Oh, his stories were also interesting for me because I am tsismoso by nature. Hehe!

For instance- some trivia: Ara Mina and Maricel Soriano had to wear something that would stretch the ends of their eyes to make them look like authentic Chinese. Or that the voice of Maricel when she is speaking Fookien is not her voice but the voice of one of Mother Lily's daughters. Things like that.

This is why it was fun to watch Mano Po again, which we did. For the sake of commenting. I got to see the movie, along with a blow-by-blow behind the scenes account (and a few side comments) on anything and everything that came up on screen. Much to the amusement of the people sitting around us.

While waiting for Patrick's ride, a desperate woman came up to us asking to use our cell phones. According to her, she wasn't from Manila and she didn't know where the person who was going to fetch her was, or where she was going to be fetched.

She seemed desperate. In fact, she even put all her shopping bags in front of us and told us that those were her purchases of the day and we could hold on to them to prove to us that she wasn't a thief and that she wasn't going to run off with our phones.

Now, I consider myself pretty jaded in the sense that I've heard about this modus operandi before. How could we be too sure that she was honest? But then, how could we be too sure that she was a thief? I hate the fact that the world has made me so wary of tricksters that I can't even let my guard down and help someone in need.

It's so hard to trust people these days and I've got no choice but to be callous. I've lost enough cell phones already and I can't bear to lose another one, if indeed she was a thief. Though she kept reiterating that she wasn't. I imagined myself in her place and how desperate I would also be if I was lost in a strange place and had absolutely no idea where to go.

And I couldn't turn to anyone for help since everyone too was wary of being gypped.

Patrick pointed the woman in the direction of a pay phone in the vicinty of Mega Mall. I gave her the Phone Card in my wallet. That phone card has around P80.00 in it and I am hoping that she was able to use it, since she said that she wasn't familiar on how to use a card phone. She even wanted to get my name and number so she could return the card to me.

I told her to take the card. I guess it was my way of paying off my guilt of not being able to help her in the way she needed to be helped. Though up until now, I can't help but think about her and hope she was able to make her way home safely. How my defenses immediately sprung to life when the stranger approached us.

Tomorrow, this feeling will pass. But up to now, I can't get over the woman, and how I realized that at 20, I've long lost my trust in my fellow man.

---

Untarnished Silver

Today was the 25th wedding anniversary of my parents.

Since the beginning of this year, I've been pushing for a little ceremony for their Silver Anniversary.

You know, just a small party with a bunch of close friends invited to celebrate. An event to dress up for, with food, a little program, a little dancing and what have you. I was expecting a little pageantry at least.

But both my parents would have none of it. My dad said there was no point in a renewal of vows or whatever ceremony came with a Silver Wedding anniversary.

He said that you don't put a lot of pomp on one single anniversary. The 25th anniversary is and will be no different from the 26th, the 30th and so on. There is no reason to celebrate having made it that far 'cause when you get married, it is assumed that you are going to last forever. The "'Till death do us part" and all that jazz.

Thus, there is no point in rejoicing that you made it that far, because that would seem that getting there was such a struggle that reaching 25 years would be a big cause for celebration. According to him, when you love someone, you don't count the years because you are going to last forever anyway.

Instead, you count the milestones that happened in the marriage. You count the day you bought your first house, when your child was born, when your child graduated College and all that. The experiences are what make the marriage memorable and worth lasting- it is not the years of being together. It was what was put into those years that should be counted and what really count.

Smart man, my dad. He has a good point. It touched me, actually.

So he and my mom did celebrate their anniversary like they always do- spend the day with the family, hear mass, go out and eat somewhere nice.

We heard mass at the Shrine and took in Mano Po.

We then had dinner at Benjarong, a Thai restaurant in Dusit Hotel in Makati.

There was the pageantry I was looking for: a simple and whole day affair, and attended by the people who really count: the family.

Speaking of "Mano Po", Regal Films' entry into the Metro Manila Film Festival, I found it pretty good.

The effort put into the production was evident and marvelous and the story wasn't dragging or cheesy. In fact, as a writer, I loved how everything was able to tie up without the characters or the credibility being compromised.

There were a few things I didn't like about the movie though, such as how the movie at times became to preachy about the Chinese and their identity in the Philippines. Then, other times, the movie would appear to be a documentary on Filipino-Chinese culture. Oh, ang titigas pa ng dila ng mga artista but I guess that is understandable, considering most of the actors are Filipino.

There were also times when the Chinese culture was overdone. I mean, did Ara Mina have to testify a la Rosebud in a cheongsam as well? Or to ensure continuity, the characters would speak tagalog but throw in a Chinese phrase to make their "Chinese-ness" believable.

And then there was the revelation that goes by the name of Cogie Domingo. In the movie, he displayed such flair for comedy. Sadly, the scenes he was in were serious scenes so needless to say... he made the drama scenes look like comedy. That was a great injustice to a good movie. I'm pretty sure the scene would've been pulled off more successfully had Regal Fils gotten a more serious actor for the role.

In any case, I count Mano Po as one of the better Filipino movies that I've watched and it is an entry in the Film Festival worth checking out.

---

The Happy Holidays

"A ray of hope flickers in the sky, a tiny star lights up way up high. All across the land dawns a brand new morn, this comes to pass when a child is born..."

I felt Christmas!

Up until last night, I was so afraid that I wouldn't be feeling the season and that Christmas would simply pass me by like an ordinary day. Thankfully it didn't.

This Christmas was special and in a class by itself. Like all the other 20 Christmases before, which all hold dear memories for me. This one will as well.

"A silent wish sails the seven seas, the winds of change whisper in the trees. And the walls of dount crumble tossed and torn. This comes to pass when a child is born..."

I found Christmas in the company of my family. There are nice memories that stand out this season, like hearing Simbang Gabi with my mom. Then there was the uncontrollable laughter because of the bloopers during the Christmas eve mass. Then there was my "drinking session" with my dad, done over a bottle of wine and a plate of cheese.

Incidentally, I'm finding humor in the fact that my alcohol intake this season is so... refined. I've been moping because I haven't reached my "beer quota" because I've missed a lot of parties. However, this fact was compensated by the fact that I've been consuming a lot of wine over the past few days so I guess it's not really a loss.

"A rosy dawn settles all around. You got the feel you're on solid ground. For a spell or two no one seems forlorn. This comes to pass when a child is born..."

I also found Christmas in my peers. For one, my cousins, who came to the house (tradition) and we had a great time over beer and sisig up in Cloud 9. Then, there were the text messages from my friends, wishing me a Merry Christmas.

I also felt Christmas through a CD and card given by someone very, very special to me. I couldn't wipe the grin of my face since I opened it this morning. The CD included some of my favorite tracks such as "When You Know" by Shawn Colvin, "Passenger Seat", and "Crash into Me" among others.

The season also got to me as I handed out Jack & Jill pretzels to the poor children who would make "pamasko" at our gate. Made me feel good about sharing with them.

In any case, Christmas this year was of a more solemn nature. It was less of the festivity and more of the simple things that made it matter. These were what made it special.

It's all a dream, an illusion now. It must come true, sometime soon somehow. All across the land dawns a brand new morn. This comes to pass when a child is born." -- Zacar-Jay, When a Child is Born.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

"When I was small and Christmas trees were tall..."

Yep. That's yours truly (circa 1985) during a simpler, more innocent yet meaningful Christmas.

Just an observation: Don't you guys think it's so much easier for a kid to enjoy Christmas. The meaning of Christmas for children is so simple and so pure. There are no ulterior motives for the season and they enjoy it for what it is and nothing more.

I believe the Christmas feeling that we had when we were children is the feeling we are striving so hard to achieve and relive now that we are grown up and wiser (I prefer the word "jaded") to the ways of the world. Thus, we are left to redefine what Christmas means to us, for it will no longer be as pure as we had it when we were children. As a child, Christmas memories were always the best!

---

Searching for Christmas in a Day

There are times when I feel that there are too little hours in a day. Not everyday of course- but there are times indeed.

Today was one of them. In a desperate bid to feel Christmas, I tried to squeeze in a lot of the activities that would make me feel the season in one day.

Guess what? I ended up doing almost nothing. I'm back to square one. Or square two, I guess. If there ever is such a thing.

The day started off on the right track, though. I actually mustered enough political will to make it to Simbang Gabi. Big feat- it's the first time in the longest time that I've done 2 mornings of Simbang Gabi.

Being in Church, feeling the bite of December air combined with slight drowsiness actually gave me a hint of the season. I loved the simplicity and the devotion of it all. I made a mental note to TRY do the 9 mornings the coming year.

I've even decided to do Simbang Gabi again tomor- oh, I mean, later. In a few hours.

I also had a pretty packed schedule for the day. I hoped to achieve a haircut, a visit to the dermatologist, get to hang out with my High School chums, shop for Christmas gifts for the parents and go carolling with my college friends OR go to my High School class reunion.

What was I able to accomplish? Hmm... a haircut, shop for the parents and... well, that's about it.

Partially, it was my fault for waking up late. Then there was the dermatologist who was already on holiday, the High School chums whose schedule was complicated and just too far away, the carolling which just didn't push through and the reunion which had to give way to the carolling.

The carolling was actually the biggest disappointment for me. I was looking forward to the carolling because we had a lot of fun last year and also because I was hoping that it would be a last ditch effort for me to feel Christmas.

Unfortunately, since there were too few houses, and with the distance spanning Paranaque to Rizal, we deemed it impractical to push through. This was taking into account the hellish traffic situation.

We ended up having dinner in Mcdo, making the rounds (yet again!) in the Eastwood night market. Well, more like LJ, Krabanapz and I. We then went to cool down in Bargo right after. And that was it.

So much for my last ditch effort. Once again, my best laid plans turn up dust and nothing more. Not that I didn't enjoy tonight- the company was fine, as always. It was just that what we did tonight could've been done any other night. It was like your normal gimik night. Carolling was special because we did it only once a year, and it was great to spread the festive mood of Christmas. It got me kind of sad.

On the way home tonight, I got to thinking that maybe I'm looking for Christmas in the wrong place. Maybe Christmas is no longer the gaity that I associate with the season. Maybe it's time to look toward other venues for the real thing. Maybe I just need to deviate a little.

Deviating is a bit hard though since I'm one to stick to tradition.

It's funny that I seem to feel Christmas in the stillness of my surroundings. I feel it in the calmness of the night, and in the quiet of a world that is engrossed in slumber.

Perhaps this is where I'll find it this year- in the peace of my mind, like the stillness of the night where it all began. Who knows, right?

Maybe more than looking for some outward manifestation of the spirit, I could look within. Maybe I could sort through it within the complexities, the angst, the skepticism and all that constitute me. And maybe, just maybe then, I'd be able to find it.

Or maybe I'm jusr forcing this "feeling" a little too much.

Whatever it is, I've got a day left to find out.

---

A few Ring Things...

To those who watched "The Ring", (whether you appreciated it or not, here are a few things you might want to check out...)

Or you might want to check this link out for a better feel of the movie...

http://superchc.uhome.net/ring/comeout.htm

Hope I can get to sleep at this rate. It's half past midnight and the thought is just a little too freaky. To think I have Simbang Gabi in a few hours time...

---

The Holiday Recluse

Woah. Where did time go? Has it been ages since I was able to blog?

Actually, the hiatus from blogging was somewhat self-imposed. It took a good while before I could work up the nerve to blog again and not talk about Friday night.

Friday night was the party my former block was having and it was the only party I was looking forward to for the season. Last year's party was extremely fun and I wasn't expecting anything less this year, albeit a smidgen of tension.

It wasn't really the drinks or whatever happened within the duration of the party (although I am starting to crave for San Mig, but more on that later). It was the company.

It would have really made my Christmas season to be able to party with my friends and all- get inebriated together and just have a chance to regroup considering that ever since we were de-blocked and put into majors, we really haven't been able to spend as much time together as we'd like to.

More often than not, the times we catch each other are merely circumstancial. Sometimes, it's a break in between classes and sometimes it's a quickie round of beer across school.

Friday night was a time to just hang out. Catch up on stuff, drink and just celebrate the yule season with each other. That much I was looking forward to.

Unfortunately, because of circumstances beyond my control, I wasn't able to make it to the party. As early as the afternoon, I knew that much and it crushed me. I believe the party would have put my Christmas mood in gear, but sadly, I spent the night at home.

It's not easy to humor yourself when you know that your friends are living it up somewhere and you're missing all the action. It is no comfort that there will be other parties and other instances. Fact is, I missed that one. Period.

This may seem a tad bit shallow, but believe me, it really killed me. I did not want to know all about the party and the fun that was ongoing so I turned myself into a recluse.

I absolutely refused to talk to anyone who called or reply to any text that came in. Although the texts did touch me because I felt missed. I isolated myself in a room and watched 3 VCDs straight. Then I went to sleep early. It was better that I be asleep rather than be awake with the knowledge that your friends are partying out somewhere without you.

I guess up 'till now, that party will still be a hot button and it's gonna take awhile for this depressed state of mind to pass. It has got to though, Christmas is just around and I refuse to be sad on Christmas.

But here I am, well, still searching for some semblance of Christmas spirit. I don't have any feeling of aniticipation or what have you. I don't even feel any sense of revelry as I have attended only one party so far. And ONE bottle of San Mig Light. Only.

I am perfectly aware that parties are not the real deal to finding the meaning of Christmas, much less the feeling of it. But shying away from everything doesn't help anything as well.

Spent Saturday and today braving the malls for last-minute Christmas stuff. Within that mad Christmas rush, I wasn't even able to feel the excitement. Please don't tell me I'm starting to become insensitive and unfeeling.

Or maybe it's because I'm coming down with a miserable cough and cold?

There are 2 more days left to Christmas. I am hoping that in that span of time, along with a Christmas carolling venture and a get-together with High School friends and whatever may come, I may find the REAL joy that can be derived from this season.

By the way, I just realized tonight how beautiful a fully lit advent wreath is.

The Christmas Images courtesy of the Santalady

Ang bading ba? Tripping lang ako for the season...

---